I Know,

who I have become,

I know who I am,

I've grown quite accustomed to how I feel or sense things,

But yet when you come around,

I'm a completely different person,

I don't recall who I am, or what I have done,

I don't know how to act,

I have a feeling of passion looking at you,

I feel as if a monster has come into my body and shreds my persona to pieces,

As long as you're in the presence of my very still body,

I'm ok.

I can be that brave person, and not be afraid to experience adventures,

My adrenaline pumps,

Has life really been like this all the time?

Have I really been this much of a wallflower,

I am nonexistent in a patch of bland wallpaper,

I repeat a simple melodious tune,

You favor the beating symphony,

If only I could play that song,

If I could only be proud of what I am,

Instead of what I'm not,
I can list all my present flaws,

Backwards, frontwards, and even try to list them each in a completely euphoric method,

I can alter them and make them positives,

I can burn my dreadful attitude,

I can be more social,

I can finally stop being who I've become, all for you...

Would you be proud of me?

Would you even notice me?

But most importantly,

Would I be proud of me?

Would I even notice me?

The message of the poem above I was trying to convey, was to never alter your ways simply because you are attracted to one person, whether it be someone you are interested in, or a friend. Don't say the word can in a negative way, because there are numerous negativities to what the words will lead up, such as I will. Evaluate your character and if you don't like something, change it, but do it because you want to. Please yourself first. And in the process, look at your major accomplishments you've had in life. Grin a smile. Laugh. Look up into the serene atmosphere of what we call life, and breathe...

--daviduh.

Imagine,

A place that was nonexistent of worries, and troubles. Is that possible? Somebody asked me the other day, "David, imagine a world without inhibitions." I brought myself to this thought and I tried to imagine. I couldn't however. With so many hardships running through all of our minds, and tasks, how do we rid ourselves of them? They are so overwhelming, they sometimes, control me. Little worries, like 'What if this doesn't go right?' or my favorite thought, 'What if I don't get into a good college?' I am so worried that my dreams will shatter because I don't get into that right school, that I carry this burden with me all night long. I can't shed it off, so I can never become proud of myself for accomplishing anything untill, my dreams, of getting into my selected college is reached.

I know we all have varieties of inhibitions on our minds. They hold us back from taking life head on. We avoid living, just so it won't string up a thought. It hinders our ability to live correctly. Whether it bring up a bad memory or not. We have to learn to overcome our inhibitions, or our problems, or questions, we have within ourselves.

The only true way to do that is to have faith within oneself. Be proud of who you are, because each and every one of us human beings have accomplished something in this little planet. We are our own role models, because we have been put through a journey of hinderances. We overcome them and grow from them. That's what we should be proud of.

Rid yourself of all your worries, because at the end of the day, you have to be happy to be alive. You have to be happy to live in your own skin. Be happy that nobody can feel, or touch something the way you do. That nobody can see the vividness in something that you do. That nobody can feel your vulnerability than you can. But most importantly, you must remember, you are the only one that can solve your own worries. Clear your head and let go. Shake everything out of your system.

Inhibitions are your enemies. They are the ones who will always tell you, you can't. You are your own worst critic because of these mortifying things. And you're the one who has created them. Yet, they comfort you, which is sick, but they're the ones who tell you, 'It could've gone better, if you did this.' So you are never truly satisfied within yourself, and that will eat you alive.

To be afraid of yourself is quite scary, but you will overcome each and every problem you come in contact with, as long as you tell yourself you can.

Because you have all the power in your veins to surpass something eating at you. You have every last bit of strength to mold your path. You are spectacular, and stellar. Believe it, and there you go, you've released your worries, you're free, at last...

--daviduh.

Pessimism,

Has consumed the modern teenage population. I believe every teen has some pessimism inside of them. It's just the constant negativity, is really wearing me down. A pessimist is one who sees things negatively, or always sees the bad in everything. DO NOT get it mixed up with a realist, which is a person who sees the reality in things. Both I am strongly against, in some cases. Relating to life and how you see your future, you have to be optimistic.

You have to dream, you have to hope, or who will? Think of the great possiblities of what we call life and everything in it. That's step one to being optimistic. If you worry about the negative in life, you've fallen off track. When in comes down to things such as business or work that needs to be done, you have to be a little pessimistic in certain situations, or you will build a world of pure fantasy. Separate your life from your work, whether it be school or a real job. A balance of both you may say. But more so optimistic. Don't be so happy that you cannot see failure as something. Because when you fail, you ultimately learn and succeed.

When it comes down to a realist, I can't find a reason why you should be one. Sure it seems practical and ultimately, 'What's wrong with it?' My take is: if you mustn't imagine something good, then you will always have things be negative. You set yourself up for failure by telling yourself mistakes won't happen. But, they will. Mistakes can be the biggest and most wonderful gifts we have. Although, I am against realism, I don't believe in a land of pure fantasy as well. Because, first step, is dreaming something, the second step is achieving it. Have faith in yourself, because you are so capable of amazing things.

You truly are your worst critic though, and it's okay, but you must overcome it, or a self-esteem will be nonexistent. Which means, people will walk all over you. However, once again, you mustn't builds such extreme walls people must break down to get to the real you, because your eating yourself alive. Open up.

Think of life as a double standard. Turn things on at the right time. Take control when needed, and when you must be submissive to someone's duties or such, don't take their glory, because when you do the bittest of benevolent help, it is glory. It is achievement.

Don't go about life the wrong way. Think 95% positive, and the other five percent don't think of it as negativity, think of it as things that may make the positive things noncoherent, and make them positive. Dream your life away, but make sure they become a reality. If you are passionate about something, do it. If it brings just one person joy, you're succeeding.

Hold your head up and walk the line we call life. It's a long journey but when it comes, you'll be greatful you made the trip. Don't give up, don't give in to temptation, just keep walking...

--daviduh.

Speak,

Have you ever had those days, where you feel like your voice doesn't matter? Like, you do not meant anything. That you're just another face in the crowd. The days you felt like you were invisible.

We've all had them. Honestly, recently I've felt like my voice is just something irrelevant. I felt as if my voice was holding me back in a way. People misinterperet how I feel. They think because I am so passionate about certain things, I come off pessimistic or negative about everything, which in fact, is not the case at all. I want things to be cherished. I want people to appreciate things, and even, even if it helps just ONE person, I'd be happy. Would you call that pessimism?

If you don't speak up for what you think is right, who will? Your voice is the biggest gift you have, you should rejoice over the fact that you have one. The fact that you can express your ideals and such should be a gift. Your voice can dictate your future in a way as well. If you have no voice, you have no backbone, thus you are open to everything, not good. I encourage each and every one of you to voice what ever it is that is on your mind, whether it be politics, fashion, music, friendship, or school, your voice is yours to have and to hold. Totally cliche I know, but it is the utter truth. You have the power within that voice you hold. It contains the biggest depth to it because you can stand up against what you think is wrong. People can hear you out, and see things in a new perspective, as well as we should see other's views in new perspectives. We have a world compiled of nearly six billion people and each and everyone of us has our sets of values. It is up to you to decide whether you want to validize your values. Open up your eyes, and envision a new world, where it is okay to voice what you believe is right and credible of course. You must back up your statements. Don't say something hateful though. And remember nothing is a bad ideal or topic or value, if you hold it near and dear to you, that should be the only thing that matters. The world is not a democracy nor a monarchy but a YOUocracy, well if that makes a bit of since. Remember do not change how you feel because it's "IN." The chills you get with passion, it's quite amazing...

--daviduh.

StandUp,

Why is it that you're the one feeling responsible in your "crowd" of friends. Like they're all making bad choice (some cases yes) and you're the one picking it all up with open arms. Do you complain? No. Do you want to do it? Yes, your friends are your life. I think friends have that place in your heart forever, whether they remain your friends for a year or for years. But what if you feel like they're taking advantage of you? What if they're holding you back? What if I am capable of nearly so much more, yet I'm forever bound to this person. And you can't say no. You feel as if you'd let them down. Would they do it for you, you contemplate. Constant questions eating at you right? I had someone tell me with so much pain in their eyes, that they were helping friends everyday. That their friends had threatened to cut or do something bad...

My take on it:

Do for you. Meaning, you have to do things for yourself. You cannot let all your energy go into people other than yourselves. It's funny because all the ones closest to you are usually the ones who hurt you the most. And why is that? Because you let it affect you and because you feel the utter betraylment and despise yet still feel compassion at this backstabbing friend. We've all had that person. In the case of the cutting thing, I think we can all relate to it. I mean we really feel like if we aren't with that person, that they are open to a wrong path. But what can you do? You can only do so much. But at the end of the day what we must also realize is that, yes we have great friends, but are they the ones who are making OUR dreams come true? Or are they holding them away from us. You have to move forward. You are one person. You can help someone out, just make sure you have you time at the end of every day for you. If you can truly look in the mirror and say you've accomplished something, you are! It hurts me that some people are always going to be bound to their friends but it's time to live your life. Are you risking your own happiness for someone else? And if you say yes, you're damn selfish to yourself. And that's what you don't want. Nobody comes before yourself. Learn to love yourself because you are the only one you have! You are your deepest confidante. You are the shell to your life. Your voice is your greatest power. You have the power. We all do.

--daviduh.

TheMovement,

We, as teenagers, are really capable of anything. We are susceptable to really anything. And that is quite scary. We are in the harshest world and it is so easy for each and every one of us to go down that wrong path. We have to stick together.

Together, we can prevent us from coming in contact with an unknown world filled with bad realities. We are forced to grow up so fast, and many of us are lonesome and just need someone. We need to seek advice from each other. If we lend an ear and hear someone's story, we will not only feel more close to them, but we will stand united to prevent a turbulent occurance of something. There are drugs, drugdealers, rapists, gangs, mobs, abusers, murderers, racists, backstabbers, the comforts of suicide, and all waiting for just one person they can use...YOU.

It is ultimately your choice of where you are going in life. You have the capability of doing such great things, but you have everything pulling in the opposite favor. We have ALL been there. You feel like you're alone in this world, you feel like your dreams don't matter, you feel hurt, you feel betrayed, you feel like you're all you've got. We know. We've been there.

When you stand up and stop these acts, we won't be another statistic. Another adolescent that died on the sidewalk due to an overdose. We won't be in high school expecting a child. We won't be alcoholics. We won't kill. We won't deal.

We'll just be.

But you have to stand up. YOU have to say NO. You have to say I can accomplish everything I want. I WILL SUCCEED. My dreams DO matter. I am NOT alone, I have someone.

If we join together, hand by hand we can. It's easier to cease these bad things if we link. We are so much more than we sell ourselves for. And that's really what it is. We sell our happiness for other's happiness. We give up what WE want because that's all we really can do in some cases. We NEED just one hand, and from that hand another, and another, and another. Don't let the cycle end. Keep going. It's not hard, all you have to do, is reach out. Let YOUR voice be heard, because YOU DO matter. YOU ARE SOMEONE.

WE HAVE THE POWER. WE CAN, AND WE WILL.

So the question is...are you in?

I'm in...

-daviduh.

HoldingOn,

Have you ever come to ask yourself why you hold on to something worth nothing. As in, a dead friendship, lost love, OR a person you dislike, an ex you hate, a backstabber. Why do we let it overtake our lives in a way?

It was brought to my attention that I hold grudges, and yet I couldn't come to correct this person. I couldn't come to correct myself. But I couldn't answer: WHY?

I contemplated for hours, ping ponging in my brain to ask myself why I store so much hate within my body. I have enmity towards so many, and I CAN'T let go. And then I pondered, that maybe it is just the simple explanation of that word we call pain. The thought of being hurt, drives me crazy. I hate feeling hurt or betrayed, so I have put all this guilt on myself and am so angry at this person, but mostly, myself. I can't even come to explain why I still can't find myself to forgive some people. This person or people have put so much anger and sadness upon me that I can't let it be the past, I can't seem to let it go. I don't ever want to have it happen again, so I build an endless wall. I build a wall with no connection to that person, and if there is a connection, I quickly cut it off. However, some have slipped by, and I am eternally grateful for it. I have forgiven so many, and even within some quarrels forgot the true reason why we stopped being friends, I've forgetten. And that's friendship. That's letting go.

It's so hard to fully committ my trust within someone, to put all my forgiveness within something. Forgiving someone is ONE thing YOU are in control of. Is it the thought of controlling something that has us so tipsy? That drives us insane? Yes. We're so used to so many controlling our own lives that it gives us happiness and a sense of relief when we are in control of our own actions. If we don't want to let go, its our choice.

So how do we move on?

I still haven't answered that question, and I'm still trying to find it within myself. How can I forgive those that have hurt me? How do I let go? What if it happens again? ENDLESS QUESTIONS!

We know what to do...

We have to forgive that person, no matter the pain they inflict. We don't have to talk to this person, but we mustn't linger the hatred towards them. Keep them at a distance, so you won't get inflicted, if you're worried about pain. Just having no hostility lifts us up. We have to forgive, it's your choice to forget. It's a release of letting go. I have to learn to forgive, in order to stop being so MAD! If I just forgive, then people won't affect me. And when you don't, then you are always going to be affected by them. They're winning. They're controlling YOUR life. And isn't that what we wanted in the first place, control?

But it's up to you to make your own decisions. I nor am anyone else on this earth composed of over 6 billion people, here to make your decision. How you feel, see, act, hear, interperet, is 100% up to YOU...

The truth of the matter is, when you don't give up on something, you're still attached to it no matter what. Your mind will always be stuck on that one person. This person isn't living your life, they don't care if you fail or succeed, they're living their life. But when you do let go, you will feel better.

Like you've accomplished something...

And that's it...

You've let go.

-daviduh.

Dearest Haters,

I want each and everyone of you to know that your nonstop hate makes me stronger each and every day. Your insults make me smile. Your infatuation with talking about me brings me bliss. Knowing that I can impact you in such a way to waste so much energy truly touches me. I want to thank each and every last one of you. Because of you I strive so much more and push myself so much more to prove each and everyone of you wrong.

I will not become somebody to please you because that truly speaks fakeness. I want everyone to be proud of themselves, as am I. Do I love myself? No, I don't but I truly am working on it. To build a self esteem that grins in the bittest of lies and false idiocracy. But I am proud. Proud that I can express myself. Proud that I am not afraid of who I have become to this day. I'm proud of each and every flaw, even though I hate them at times. Proud that I have learned so much about my surroundings. Proud that I have everything to live for. But most importantly, proud to be alive.

So thank you, you're my biggest fans.

A little bit of advice:

Don't let others despiteful words get to you. I know the obnoxious stings of their words can get to you but guess what's the best medicine to heal those stings. Laughter. Laugh at how funny their insults are. Laugh and be happy within yourself. In the words of my dearest idol Maya Angelou, "If you don't like something, change it, if you can't change it, change your attitude." And indeed you must. Although it may feel at times that the whole world is breathing profound breaths down your neck or give you the most belligerent and stubborn looks, look away. Keep shining. Push yourself. Strive.

And another medicine to those painful stings, proving them wrong. You can do it. Plan for your future. You can be the most successful person, as long as you try. Have faith within your self. YOU are amazing. Everybody has amazing and recognizeable characteristics. Even the haters...

We are all linked and we must remember that.

We have been created to be us. To leave a legacy of success and so much more. A legacy of hope. Hope to change our world. We can do it. I believe in us. I believe in ME! Take an oath to yourself that at whatever time it is for you to grow up and take on a responsibility whether it be your career or kids, that you will leave behind a piece of you wherever and whenever you go.

So like I said let the haters talk. Because, in the end, you are living for NO ONE, but yourself. Stay true to LIFE and to YOU!

-daviDUH