YouDon'tReallyKnowHowIFeel,

Have you ever had a friend who told you they loved something about you, but then moments later you find them talking about how it irritates them? I've had them a lot. I fucking hate the words: irritating, annoying, aggravating, and idiot. When you're talking to a friend, avoid those words. If you really have a problem, address it when you are ready and capable of speaking with meaning (be sober). Using these words not only pisses the person off, but it just makes you look selfish, and mean.

Sometimes I feel as if friends whom you are comfortable around fall into this place that they can say whatever to you and it will be okay. That's wrong because no matter what, there is always this place of "No Zone." In this place, you have a line of limits that no one can pass. Your past experiences determine this place because you know how you feel and you know what hurts you, or makes you feel anything less than you. Think about how many times you've been mad at a family member who has said something to put you in a mood. Even though you are attached to them by blood and you love them unconditionally, their words STILL hurt. The same goes for a friend, and even more, when with a friend you confide a lot more sometimes than family. If all that you tell your friends ends up blowing up in your face, is that really fair?

Sometimes I get in these moods where I just feel like no one deserves friendship. No one is ever truly true or trustworthy. That everyone hurts one another, and how the fuck do you go from there?

You've got to remember that you NEED people in your life. This has been proven in cases that you need to make encounters with people. Imagine how boring your life would be without outside contact. At times, depression hits and people WILL hurt you. All you can really do is tell them to try not to cross your "No Zone" but if they do, you can only forgive. Because if you have history with this person and you have let them in, there is no way they can be gone, there will always be a piece of them in your heart. Sounds cliché, I know but life is so much better when you don't dwell on the hurt. Let it out and move on.

That's what real friendship is about. Acceptance and Forgiveness. Carry those three words with you and always remember, there is always someone who knows how you really feel.

--daviduh.

IWishYouCouldSee,

Your smile hits hard in the depths of people’s souls,

It hurts so bad that I cannot bear it.

I wish you could see,

See how much you mean to everyone you encountered,

Your memory lives on in people’s minds,

It flashes like a camera--so bright.

It’s as if you had never gone from the earth’s soil,

Like you’re in the frame and posing away.

I wish you could see,

See how much you mean to everyone who saw you.

Your pain lingers in people’s hearts,

Each shriveled with pain because they wish they could bandage those scars.

They would give their lives just to see you heal,

Just to see you happy.

I wish you could see,

See how much you mean to everyone who knows your story.

Your life is remembered and celebrated each day by the ones who continue to love you,

They really miss you and they cherish the time spent with you.

It is impossible for you to flee from the ones who hold you dear,

Because you are forever engraved in each vessel of their beating hearts.

You are the blood that streams throughout their veins,

Because of you, they live each day.

Although you cannot be here to see their love grow and grow for you each day,

You will forever be able to feel it, sense it, hear it.

We wish you could see,

See how much you mean to everyone, because you were.

Didn'tYouKnow,

I look back upon the life I have lived and I remember,

All the travesties and pain that surfaced each year.

How I pushed and fought back, I have no idea,

Because now, I haven’t the strength to persevere.

Persevere through all the chaotic moments that ruled my life,

Damaged my heart, and spit it back up.

Ups and downs and turnarounds,

That is all I had guaranteed.

Guaranteed lack of intellect and abrasiveness,

Belligerent thoughts and words foaming up at the mouth.

Mouth full of insults aimed and pointed at my back,

Stung so bad that I nearly fell on the ground.

Ground of pure lava that’s what my days felt like,

So bad I just wanted to lay away the immense pain.

Pain and sorrow,

Those were my two best friends.

Friends? What are those;

I did not know,

Know about all the struggling? Maybe,

But yet that didn’t stop the shadows from stealing my light.
Light at the end of the tunnel,

Where is that thing?

Thing of hope that seemed nearly unattainable until my days came to nights,

That is when I was safe.

Safe and sound underneath the blankets,

I was so tired.

Tired of fighting and tearing up what optimism I had left,

Was there any more to spare?

Flash forward and now it is all over,

I guess all that wishing out of dread paid off.

Off and on life no more,

I feel bliss for once.

Once upon a time there lived a scarred being,

But you already knew that.

Have The Time Of Your Life,

It's time for you to start enjoying your life people. I swear, sometimes everyone is so preoccupied about stress and drama and stuff that is taking up all of their time, and they lost the fun in life. Life isn't always about working, you gotta make time for play to, or you're just gonna be lonely. Not to sound harsh or anything. I've seen people with no social life and trust, it's not a good thing. Aren't you kind of defeating the purpose of life when you don't make time? Isn't that why there are hobbies that cater to whatever interests you like? Why not get up and do something? Sure the sun may be to hot or the clouds may be too gloomy, but that's no reason to sit and mope the entire day. Go get and umbrella and sunblock or go make the sunshine appear. Life is glorious and has its fun in it. So why not enjoy it? You have the right to smile and life your youth out. You know those moments where you just smile and say, "Damn, I love life."? Well go have more of those!

I swear, my nights where I can't contain laughter because of the spontaneous adventure I just had, is the best. In fact, most nights where I am just breathing with the company of a friend inspires me to write and inspires me to just keep striving. I love the fact that whenever I have someone around me we make the best out of anything. Simplicity is pretty much the second key to my late night adventures, spontaneity is the first.

It's funny because on Friday, all we did was go to L.A. for a few minutes. We gazed at each light and the beautiful romantic architecture that has history in it and we were mesmorized by its pure spectacularness. It shocked us because every single wall, window, and door in L.A., may seem runned down to you or whoever but it's beautiful to me. My grandparents were a part of building what this city was back then, I'd like to think. Anyways, back to the story, so we are in the bright city and we get the idea to look for a haunted house, only to our knowledge that it had already been torn down. But we didn't get upset. We just partied in our seats and had a good time. Why get so worked up about things that aren't in your control. Have fun. Be happy you can laugh. My whole message of this post is just to tell you that sometimes the most smallest adventures or plans can impact you the deepest in the long run. For most, you'll get what I'm saying, if you don't understand, ask me, or question yourself.

Laughter is said to be the key to life. Keep that key in your back pocket.

--daviduh.

The Black Abyss,

We were best friends once,
I haven't talked to you in months,
I got your text the other day,
It made the pain forever stay,
We'll never be close again,
That seems like a bargain,
You had always hurt me through the years,
Constantly questioning my motives and putting in fears,
Never in your life will you see more tears,
I wish I stood up to you long ago,
Maybe then you wouldn't be a foe,
I hate you so much all I see is vertigo,
You disgust me with every inch,
It's funny, I've even memorized your pleasant stench,
You'll never be there for me ever,
Guess were destined to be best friends for never,
But the worst of all of this,
Is that you're the only one I seem to miss,

My heart's just one dark abyss.
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You probably won't know who this is about. It's not something that I talk about to just anyone. It's not someone who is around me. It's not necessarily a friend. It's just someone that isn't there anymore. I kinda wanna dedicate this poem to that person that this is about. I hope you read every word and feel the pain I've gone through these past months. You know, each day that I awake, I think of all the bad first. You have brought so much stress, pain, tears, and selfishness into not just mine but so many other peoples' lives. We all loved you with all of our hearts. You've been the same person ever since I can remember. Even when we were little. Guess what, you'll never hear from me again. Don't call me, don't text me. Get out once and for all. You're just making everything worse. I wish that we were never so close, because everytime I'm sad or start to think, I really miss all of our memories. And it hurts me to think that we are never allowed to have anymore of those because of you. YOU YOU YOU. You got your wish. You have all the attention you want. Now leave me alone.
---------------------
Please don't fuck up like this...

--daviduh.

Everybodys Got To Grow Up Sometime,

So this year, I am entering my final year of high school. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm scared. I'm happy. I'm panicky. I'm every emotion in the English dictionary.

Through each year, I have matured and have grown up. I have learned valuable lessons about myself and the things or people I surround myself in. Things have gone terribly wrong and have gone amazingly right. Even if I could go back and change each bad thing, I wouldn't. Wanna know why? Because those bad things, those faults, are lessons in disguise for me. They've made me who I am. I've shed things while in the process but I've gained even more. It feels like everything is just beginning for me. And I am ready for every little bit of it to occur. I am ready to start working at my hopes, my dreams. I am ready to prove every single person whoever doubted me. And I'm ready to inspire and motivate.

All my life I have vowed to change something in the world. I want my life to be successful but I don't neccesarily want to just make money. I wanna change the world. I'm taking steps to help people out and maybe just maybe will that be changing the world. I want to establish things for which people are benefiting from it. I have all my future on a map and planned out.

However, I may be excited for something out of the ordinary to pop out...

Class of 2010 and 2011 or just anyone in particular struggling in the real world or who are ready for the real world. Get ready, because we have a long journey. You've got to trust yourself and find that independence you have been dreaming about. As bad as it is to say, not everyone who is helping you now is going to be there for you in the future. Make the best out of it. And do not, for one second, take your hopes or dreams for granted. Live them out, because you deserve every last bit of them to come true. You have worked so very hard to maintain where each and everyone of you are right now. You'll be fine, I promise.

I know we still have another year left of high school, but that seems like it's right around the corner. We have so much reality to face in just a year. We get to see what it all looks like. But the saddest thing, is that we may lose each other on the way.

But that's okay, all you have to do is extend your helping hand, and you've got yourself a friend. It's gonna be hard, but I am so ready. I've never thought I would be sitting here, excited for what is in store for me. I never thought I'd get the chills thinking about what's going to happen. I never thought, I'd be here. Content. Happy. Living. Breathing. This beautiful life.

We're almost there...

--daviduh.

That's What Friends Are For, Right?

Ah, the blessing of friendship. It's great isn't it. That you can share the same values, morals, ideas, music, and a variety of other interests together. Kinda like you met yourself. You develop best friends, friends, and aquaintences. And in between all, you better watch your back. It's harsh to say, but every category holds a secret. You have to make sure that your friends don't spill on you. But I have to tell you, if friends are willing to sell you out or talk shit, then they are nothing to you. It is the worst when someone you thought was your friend, someone you love and care about, is the one starting all this nonsense about you. We all had that friend. And we cut them free. It's your turn now...Because lies and deceit is not friendship. It's hate.

Rumors and bitchiness is not the only thing facing friendship. A big problem that came to my attention by a friend is that sometimes friends make that promise in the beginning of their blossoming friendship and repeatedly tell each other that they will always be there for one another. But then, when it comes down to it, your darkest days, when you need that friend, isn't there. How are you supposed to function? I mean sometimes I get that people are busy with school and work but isn't there time? Time in between? If I just told you I needed help, would you seriously not offer me it? Are you that busy that you can't listen to me? Really?

What has it all come to nowadays? We can't even be there for each other is our own pain and bad days. We can even listen to each other? Friendship is about caring. It's about listening to one another just because you need that shoulder to cry on. If you're really facing this problem, my advice is, reach out and tell your friend or friends how you are feeling. If you're hurt because their lack of listening, then don't sit down and be mopey. Get up, brighten your day, and talk about it. What good is keeping it in? Another thing, if your sad about your friends doing such things to you, keeping it in won't help them to improve it. It's all about communication lovelies.

You know, a friend once said, and I couldn't agree more with them one hundred and ten percent. This friend has taught me so much about myself and situations. This friend has hurt along with me. This friend, is a friend. Anyways, she bluntly and very honestly said, "Don't pretend to give a fuck, when you really don't." No need to talk about it. It has its own message.

But don't get me wrong...All friendship isn't bad. In fact, I have some of the most spectacular friends anyone could ask for. I have developed into who I am today because of all these people. I have called each person that I could trust and they listened. Yeah, they were there when others won't. They helped me overcome it. I cannot go on about the constant gratitude I have for each and every one of you. I feel like when I am in front of my friends, I can be me. I can actually be who I am. Isn't that what it's all about? Living your life the way you want it? And people that help you understand the true meaning of that, that's friendship.

Real friendship is love. Find that love. Or let it find you.

--daviduh.