YouDon'tReallyKnowHowIFeel,

Have you ever had a friend who told you they loved something about you, but then moments later you find them talking about how it irritates them? I've had them a lot. I fucking hate the words: irritating, annoying, aggravating, and idiot. When you're talking to a friend, avoid those words. If you really have a problem, address it when you are ready and capable of speaking with meaning (be sober). Using these words not only pisses the person off, but it just makes you look selfish, and mean.

Sometimes I feel as if friends whom you are comfortable around fall into this place that they can say whatever to you and it will be okay. That's wrong because no matter what, there is always this place of "No Zone." In this place, you have a line of limits that no one can pass. Your past experiences determine this place because you know how you feel and you know what hurts you, or makes you feel anything less than you. Think about how many times you've been mad at a family member who has said something to put you in a mood. Even though you are attached to them by blood and you love them unconditionally, their words STILL hurt. The same goes for a friend, and even more, when with a friend you confide a lot more sometimes than family. If all that you tell your friends ends up blowing up in your face, is that really fair?

Sometimes I get in these moods where I just feel like no one deserves friendship. No one is ever truly true or trustworthy. That everyone hurts one another, and how the fuck do you go from there?

You've got to remember that you NEED people in your life. This has been proven in cases that you need to make encounters with people. Imagine how boring your life would be without outside contact. At times, depression hits and people WILL hurt you. All you can really do is tell them to try not to cross your "No Zone" but if they do, you can only forgive. Because if you have history with this person and you have let them in, there is no way they can be gone, there will always be a piece of them in your heart. Sounds cliché, I know but life is so much better when you don't dwell on the hurt. Let it out and move on.

That's what real friendship is about. Acceptance and Forgiveness. Carry those three words with you and always remember, there is always someone who knows how you really feel.

--daviduh.

IWishYouCouldSee,

Your smile hits hard in the depths of people’s souls,

It hurts so bad that I cannot bear it.

I wish you could see,

See how much you mean to everyone you encountered,

Your memory lives on in people’s minds,

It flashes like a camera--so bright.

It’s as if you had never gone from the earth’s soil,

Like you’re in the frame and posing away.

I wish you could see,

See how much you mean to everyone who saw you.

Your pain lingers in people’s hearts,

Each shriveled with pain because they wish they could bandage those scars.

They would give their lives just to see you heal,

Just to see you happy.

I wish you could see,

See how much you mean to everyone who knows your story.

Your life is remembered and celebrated each day by the ones who continue to love you,

They really miss you and they cherish the time spent with you.

It is impossible for you to flee from the ones who hold you dear,

Because you are forever engraved in each vessel of their beating hearts.

You are the blood that streams throughout their veins,

Because of you, they live each day.

Although you cannot be here to see their love grow and grow for you each day,

You will forever be able to feel it, sense it, hear it.

We wish you could see,

See how much you mean to everyone, because you were.

Didn'tYouKnow,

I look back upon the life I have lived and I remember,

All the travesties and pain that surfaced each year.

How I pushed and fought back, I have no idea,

Because now, I haven’t the strength to persevere.

Persevere through all the chaotic moments that ruled my life,

Damaged my heart, and spit it back up.

Ups and downs and turnarounds,

That is all I had guaranteed.

Guaranteed lack of intellect and abrasiveness,

Belligerent thoughts and words foaming up at the mouth.

Mouth full of insults aimed and pointed at my back,

Stung so bad that I nearly fell on the ground.

Ground of pure lava that’s what my days felt like,

So bad I just wanted to lay away the immense pain.

Pain and sorrow,

Those were my two best friends.

Friends? What are those;

I did not know,

Know about all the struggling? Maybe,

But yet that didn’t stop the shadows from stealing my light.
Light at the end of the tunnel,

Where is that thing?

Thing of hope that seemed nearly unattainable until my days came to nights,

That is when I was safe.

Safe and sound underneath the blankets,

I was so tired.

Tired of fighting and tearing up what optimism I had left,

Was there any more to spare?

Flash forward and now it is all over,

I guess all that wishing out of dread paid off.

Off and on life no more,

I feel bliss for once.

Once upon a time there lived a scarred being,

But you already knew that.