HoldingOn,

Have you ever come to ask yourself why you hold on to something worth nothing. As in, a dead friendship, lost love, OR a person you dislike, an ex you hate, a backstabber. Why do we let it overtake our lives in a way?

It was brought to my attention that I hold grudges, and yet I couldn't come to correct this person. I couldn't come to correct myself. But I couldn't answer: WHY?

I contemplated for hours, ping ponging in my brain to ask myself why I store so much hate within my body. I have enmity towards so many, and I CAN'T let go. And then I pondered, that maybe it is just the simple explanation of that word we call pain. The thought of being hurt, drives me crazy. I hate feeling hurt or betrayed, so I have put all this guilt on myself and am so angry at this person, but mostly, myself. I can't even come to explain why I still can't find myself to forgive some people. This person or people have put so much anger and sadness upon me that I can't let it be the past, I can't seem to let it go. I don't ever want to have it happen again, so I build an endless wall. I build a wall with no connection to that person, and if there is a connection, I quickly cut it off. However, some have slipped by, and I am eternally grateful for it. I have forgiven so many, and even within some quarrels forgot the true reason why we stopped being friends, I've forgetten. And that's friendship. That's letting go.

It's so hard to fully committ my trust within someone, to put all my forgiveness within something. Forgiving someone is ONE thing YOU are in control of. Is it the thought of controlling something that has us so tipsy? That drives us insane? Yes. We're so used to so many controlling our own lives that it gives us happiness and a sense of relief when we are in control of our own actions. If we don't want to let go, its our choice.

So how do we move on?

I still haven't answered that question, and I'm still trying to find it within myself. How can I forgive those that have hurt me? How do I let go? What if it happens again? ENDLESS QUESTIONS!

We know what to do...

We have to forgive that person, no matter the pain they inflict. We don't have to talk to this person, but we mustn't linger the hatred towards them. Keep them at a distance, so you won't get inflicted, if you're worried about pain. Just having no hostility lifts us up. We have to forgive, it's your choice to forget. It's a release of letting go. I have to learn to forgive, in order to stop being so MAD! If I just forgive, then people won't affect me. And when you don't, then you are always going to be affected by them. They're winning. They're controlling YOUR life. And isn't that what we wanted in the first place, control?

But it's up to you to make your own decisions. I nor am anyone else on this earth composed of over 6 billion people, here to make your decision. How you feel, see, act, hear, interperet, is 100% up to YOU...

The truth of the matter is, when you don't give up on something, you're still attached to it no matter what. Your mind will always be stuck on that one person. This person isn't living your life, they don't care if you fail or succeed, they're living their life. But when you do let go, you will feel better.

Like you've accomplished something...

And that's it...

You've let go.

-daviduh.